


Four Questions

by Band_aid



Series: The Horribly Self-Indulgent Series of Unfortunate Nicomaki Events [2]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Maki is Half-Jewish, Nico is a Dirty Sunshine!! Whale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 03:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5148137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Band_aid/pseuds/Band_aid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why is this night different than every other night? Well, for one "Rich Ass Jewish Girl" Maki Nishikino's parents invited her girlfriend over for dinner--only this dinner is a bit more special than usual. It's Passover, which means a new set of customs for resident actual-four-year-old Nico Yazawa to mess up, and a whole new slew of Jew jokes is sure to follow in her wake. And, at the end of it all, Maki can really only ask: why?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Questions

**Author's Note:**

> the sequel, feat. jew newbie (jewbie) nico, completely exasperated maki, and a minor guest appearance from whale nico and not-so-helpful eli ayase. please save maki.

There was no possible, conceivable way Nico could’ve known Maki had ulterior motives for asking her out to dinner. Well, maybe she could’ve figured it out, if she weren’t so keenly focused on wolfing down her expensive meal as though she were a starving hound (causing many uncomfortable stares, but Maki forced herself to focus on their table only and keep her gaze from drifting off). Of course, Nico was Nico--she was perceptive, sure, but she wasn’t sharply tuned to the sensitivities of Maki’s own needs; at least, not in the way she would coo and dote over her “true love” Dia Kuro-something.

In retrospect, Maki was partially to blame. But only partially, because her girlfriend’s lack of attention was worrying, and really, the promise of a paid dinner check was the only way to get her to acknowledge her lack of awareness--granted, Nico was absolutely a broke college student, and Maki felt the smallest of pity for her.

(Which was, undoubtedly, replaced by irritation later, when she would catch her up at ten at night playing her dumb game instead of doing her overdue homework.)

Still, Maki knew she could never get too angry with her; she tended to make up for her screw-ups eventually. Maki had a bucketload of IOUs she could pull out at any second and force Nico to go with her to an art museum, if she really wanted to. Instead, she took Nico to a nice, cozy little diner she knew of (only barely, since the place was fairly new) with about two thumbs thick worth of flat bills in her wallet.

A bit more people crowded the restaurant than Maki expected, truthfully. Not that Maki minded, but Nico’s inability to act sophisticated (except when threatened) made her nervous. She watched Nico eat while hardly touching her own food; eventually, she sat the fork she toyed with between her fingers down on her plate with a loud clunk and sighed to grab Nico’s attention.

It worked (surprisingly). “You’re not eating, Maki-chan. Is something wrong?”

She fiddled with her fingers in her lap while trying to gather what she meant to say. “You know what tomorrow is, right?”

“Huh?” Nico mumbled as she fought to swallow her dinner. It’d been far too long, apparently, since Nico had gone out. “Erh. Is it something I’m _supposed_ to know?”

Maki shifted awkwardly in her seat. She brought her wrist up to check the time as a distraction. “I guess so. Maybe. Sort of.” She let her hand cup her cheek as she stared out at nothing.

“Uh…” Nico scratched at her cheek. “It’s not a birthday or something, is it?”

“No.”

“National holiday?”

Maki shrugged. “Not that I know of.”

“Is it… it’s not…” Nico looked terrified, for some reason that Maki couldn’t discern.

Maki raised a brow. “Not what?”

“Our.. uh… y’know…”

The stare she held on Nico soon turned from confusion to vexation. “You’re joking. You’re absolutely joking. Are you telling me you _forgot_ when our an--”

“No! N-Nico Nico Nii! J-just kidding!” Nico raised her arms wildly, shooting across the table in a hilariously pathetic attempt to make Maki calm down. Like fucking _hell_ she was. She and Nico were going to have a talk about this at a _later_ date; if it wasn’t for the entirely public setting, Maki might’ve pinched her ear and dragged her down to the garbage dump, where she could honestly probably get a better girlfriend.

Maki let a flexed hand hang suspended in the air for a moment before dropping it to the table. “Okay. _Fine_. ‘Just kidding.’”

Nico laughed, though not in humor. Maki eyed her as she took a sip of her water, eyes darted off to the side. When she caught Maki’s stare, she erupted into a series of coughs. Maki handed her a napkin--reluctantly.

She wiped at her mouth and coughed into it before reaching for another, slower, sip of water. “But, uh, seriously. What _is_ tomorrow?” Nico, apparently shameless, with no care for whether or not she looked like a total idiot--because this _really_ could’ve been something she _should’ve_ known about, like an _anniversary_ for instance--asked. It certainly wasn’t the first time Nico had fucked up, and it most definitely would not be the last, Maki knew with complete assurance.

Maki grimaced at the thought, supposedly physically, because Nico shrunk in her seat. She still spoke plainly and clearly. “It’s Passover.”

For a moment, neither of them said a word. Maki resumed to picking at her food intermittently; Nico, on the other hand, seemed unable to touch her food, staring crossed.

Maki washed down her food with water. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s _wrong_ \--” Nico repeated in exasperation, “You nearly made me have a _heart_ attack. I thought I had really screwed up again, but it was just your Jewish ‘pass over’.” When Maki gave her a look of confusion, Nico snorted.

How in the _world_ could she be dating someone so goddamn _dense_. “Just,” Maki laughed. “Just.”

“Yeah, _just_ ,” Nico said, confused. “If you need the blood of a virgin or something you’re going to have look elsewhere, babe. You should know that.”

“It’s nice to know you’re even a little excited,” Maki was about to say, but trailed off. There was really no winning in this situation, and she knew it well. Without a doubt, Nico knew that virgin blood had absolutely fuck-all to do with the holiday and was playing around with bullshit just to get a reaction out of her, and it did; it gave her one hell of a reaction--it was probably the fact that it _did_ get on her nerves that gave Nico the incentive to keep doing it. She chuckled half-heartedly to herself and shook her head.

“My parents want you to come over for dinner. For Passover,” Maki said, slowly, like she was talking to a five-year-old. Well, in a sense, she kind of was.

Nico’s nails clinked against her water glass, as though to some sort of rhythm. “Again?”

“It’s not like you only _have_ to come over for dinner _once_ you know. _Normal_ people tend to visit for dinner _several_ times.” Maki huffed, blowing some of her bangs out of her eyes.

“I know that,” Nico said, poking at her food. She suddenly stopped and looked up at Maki, mouth slightly agape. “Are you calling me _ab_ normal?”

“I’m not calling you anything.”

“Yes you are. You’re saying I’m _weird_. Well, it takes one to know one!” Nico stuck out her tongue at her girlfriend, who gaped (in offense, in disturbance, at the realization that she was dating a fucking child). By now, Maki had totally forgotten they were in a public restaurant and that several other customers stared in concordance.

 _Why_ was she dating this incessant five-year-old again? Right. Because she was absolutely smitten with her and it sort of disgusted her how gay she was for Nico; the only person to really blame, then, was Nozomi for meddling so much in their own personal business and making so many dastardly matchmaking plans that they ended up two polar opposite ends of a magnet forced together by her will. All because of that stupid song duet they did when they were eighteen (Nico, though nineteen, was still an absolute child, and nothing had since changed that would convince Maki otherwise). And once it had all clicked together, and the realization dawned on Maki, she knew that Nozomi had planned every single devious step all along. Yes, it is entirely and utterly Nozomi’s fault, and Maki wasn’t sure whether to hate her for it or thank her.

Her gaze softened, just ever so slightly. Maybe thank her. She’d die before Nico ever knew that, though. With a sigh, she said, “Just eat your damn food.”

Nico shrugged and complied, and Maki caught the smallest hint of a grin--definitely a devil. Maki ate slower, every so often staring at Nico with an intense gaze that could make puppies cry. The aforementioned girl looked back up at her, and at her food, before reaching over and slipping some of Maki’s food onto her own plate. Though irritated, Maki simply let it be; she knew Nico hated to waste food, and she wasn’t going to eat her own anytime soon.

As Nico ate her food, she laid her eyes on Maki’s plate. Maki somehow (in all fairness, she knew Nico long enough to recognize the mischievous glint in her eyes) knew what was coming. Her smiled pursed.

“So, like, if you’re Jewish, does that make your plate Jewish too? Is it Jewish food now?”

“Stop.”

“And, by association of me eating said Jewish food, does _that_ make me Jewish now too?”

“ _Stop_.”

 

* * *

 

Maki caught her sitting in the exact spot she knew she would be in--stomach flat on the couch, elbows propping her up, ridiculous pigtail-styled hair hanging over the sides of her stupid phone as she played her stupid game with her stupid precious _Dia_ and her stupid rival “ChikaChika” and, honestly, Maki was about ready to slam a pillow down on her, combo be damned. Her weird-as-fuck girlfriend deserved it, and she _should_ have just done it, but she was feeling too particularly annoyed to deal with the retaliation that would come with it.

“It smells nice in here,” Maki commented, brows furrowing. “Did you already make breakfast?”

Nico nodded, and then hummed positively when she realized Maki didn’t see. Indeed, a lonely egg lay in the pan, still sizzling softly, yet Maki’s appetite had already been ruined. She grunted in response--in her defense, it was seemingly the most polite response she could’ve possibly given in that moment, because anything else would’ve involved the couch pillow and a broken phone.

Instead, she opted for a subtler approach. Reaching into her purse on the kitchen counter, Maki sauntered over and delicately held her hand over Nico, who lay completely unaware of her presence, and allowed the nail polish bottle she held between two fingers to fall straight on her back from two feet up.

Nico yelped and rolled off the couch, her phone flying. Maki oh-so wanted to see the aftermath of her devious work, but walked away to avoid suspicion, hiding a smirk.

“Maki-chan, what the _hell_ ,” she yelled, phone in hand. “You made me lose the--huh?”

She stood at the kitchen counter, pretending to rummage through her purse, when Nico bolted up from where she laid on the floor and flung herself over the couch. Maki turned to look at her, feigning innocence and confusion. “What? Lose what?”

Nico trailed off, looking down at the phone in her hand and mumbled. “Uh. Never mind.”

“Have you seen my nail polish?” Maki had to hide her grin behind a hand, pretending to pull her hair behind her ear. Nico shrugged, about to take her place back on the couch when she yelped again, reaching down to pry something from underneath her feet.

“Oh, uh. It was over here.” There was a hint of suspicion in her voice, but Maki knew she couldn’t prove anything. Finally, the final part of her plan was coming to fruition.

“Could you do my nails, then? I want them to look nice for tonight.”

Nico grumbled, but motioned for her to come sit next to her. She knew she’d been caught by the panther. While Maki went _around_ the couch like a _normal_ human being, as opposed to flinging herself over the headboard like a monkey, Nico unscrewed the cap to her red nail polish. She said nothing as she let the excess polish rub off in the bottle and took Maki’s hand in her own, placing the bottle on the coffee table. Nico was fast and diligent in her work; she must’ve painted Cocoro’s and Cocoa’s nails dozens and dozens of times. But Maki realized she tended to wear fake nails over polish--did she have anyone to do her own nails? Probably not, since she was too cheap to go to a salon and, for some reason, wouldn’t accept Maki’s (what she deemed “pity”) money for something so “luxurious” (yet seemed perfectly content to waste thousands of yen on imaginary girls). Made _perfect_ sense.

“Do you honestly not want to come?” Maki’s said in her usual “make Nico do what she wanted’ voice. By the time she had finally spoken up, Nico had finished applying the first layer on her right hand and moved to her left thumb.

Nico looked off to the side, pausing her admissions, and frowned. “It’s not _really_ how I imagined to spend my evening, I’ll admit.”

“Your idea of an ‘evening’ is sitting in your bedroom like a NEET obsessing over fictional girls.” Maki snorted and checked the nail polish on her finished hand absently. The _nerve_ of her, honestly, to pick an imaginary girl over her real flesh-and-blood girlfriend.

“ _Hey_ ,” Nico interrupted, leaning over to poke Maki in her shoulder, “don’t you dare talk about Dia that way.”

Maki groaned. _Why_ did she put up with Nico’s obsession? Probably because she’d feel bad if she didn’t--half because Nico had little material possessions she truly cherished and half because, honestly, she (sometimes, very rarely, very occasionally) looked cute while staring intensely at her phone screen, slowly burning her retinas out. Except for that one time when she sobbed not-so-delicately into her arms, crying about how she had lost her phone and couldn’t partake in the event that was going on (though her phone was found later, about an hour after the event had already ended, and Nico was _not_ happy--it was then Maki knew she couldn’t hide Nico’s phone at any cost, no matter how much she deserved it).

“I’ll talk bad about your dumb, boring imaginary not-girlfriend as much as I want,” Maki countered, “since I’m the one who pays for her.”

Nico scowled. “Low blow.”

Maki chuckled vainly. “I think I could go lower.”

“You wouldn’t dare say another truthless word about her.” Nico continued to paint her nails, but every so often glanced back at Maki with a menacing, threatening glare.

“Try me.”

But she didn’t try her, because after that Nico quieted and resumed her focus on Maki’s nails. She’d already started applying the second layer and motioned for Maki to let her nails air-dry flat on the couch. Nico reached for a tissue from the coffee table and dabbed around her cuticles. Maki acknowledged her vow of silence and dropped the subject--at least for the time being. She might need to hold a serious intervention at some point, because really the situation of Nico’s obsession had far exceeded that of “mildly concerning.”

“I think, for the day,” Maki began. Nico screwed the top of the nail polish back on, glancing over at her. “That you should maybe just take a small break from that game--”

“Um, no. Absolutely not. No way in hell--”

“ _Nico_ -chan.”

“Sorry, Jewish hell.”

Maki rolled her eyes. “That wasn’t the point.”

“Either way,” Nico stretched out on the couch, as though congratulating herself on a job well-done, “I’m not doing it. There’s an event going on and I can’t let Sunshine!! User ChikaChika pull ahead of me. Right now she’s like only twenty thousand points beneath me. If I slip up for even _one_ \--” she held up an index finger to accentuate her point, “-- _one_ day, she could surpass me. And then I’d be the Champion taken down from her pedestal, and then _everyone_ will think they can beat me, and do you even know how bad that’ll be for my reputation as Japan’s number one whale, Maki-chan?”

Maki snorted.

“Well? Do you?”

“I still think it’s in your best interests to take a break,” Maki lowered her index finger carefully, avoiding her still-wet polish.

“Well, it’s not in the best interests for my rank, so no.”

Maki’s eyebrows scrunched. “Why is it so important to you? Besides, can’t I just give you extra money for tomorrow, then? So you can catch up, or whatever. Then it’ll be like you never took a break. You don’t even have class tomorrow, so you could stay home all day for as long as you’d like. Nico-chan, it isn’t that _hard_.”

Nico frowned and turned away. While she was doing so, Maki reached forward and snatched her phone from the coffee table; Nico realized immediately.

“H-hey! Give that back!”

“No. You’re going to take a break for today.” Maki held her phone out of reach while Nico climbed over her to try and grab it--for once, her few inches on Nico were coming in handy. “And you’re going to like it. You’re going to do what normal people do, instead of sitting on the couch all day playing a game. Until _tomorrow_.” Maki grunted as Nico placed one hand directly over her boob, using it as leverage; she merely pulled back further so that her phone dangled over the floor.

Nico pouted; she looked like a ten-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, and for a moment, Maki was absolutely skeeved.

“ _Ughhh_ ,” Nico groaned, flinging herself back on the couch after her multiple vain attempts at stealing her phone back. Maki made sure to shove it in her back pocket for safe-keeping. “You’re so unfair, Maki-chan. Taking away everything I have and own and love--”

“Drama queen,” Maki huffed and crossed her arms.

“--so insensitive, soooo mean and cruel. But, fine, Nico-nii can _totally_ survive an entire day without her precious Dia--so long as you make sure to add ¥10000 more onto the card--”

“I _will_ ,” Maki grumbled.

“--then all that’s left is the hardest part.”

“Which is?”

Nico looked blankly at her. “Um, you know. Staving off the threat of boredom? What, do you just expect me to sit around the apartment doing literally _nothing_? I’ve already finished literally every anime I’m interested in that’s been completed and I have noooothing to dooo.”

Maki pulled her hands away, confusion crossing her face. “Just entertain yourself, I guess.”

“Oh my God, you’re so dense. I’m _trying_ to say--”

Maki scowled. “Trying to say _what_ exactly--”

“If you’re going to take away my only source of happiness and entertainment then maybe you should do your part and entertain _me_ instead.” Nico pursed her lips in a kissy face.

That’s what she was getting at. Maki flushed, scowled, and opened her mouth to speak--which apparently Nico took as an invitation. When Nico shuffled forward to put a hand on her thigh and another on her shoulder, Maki leaned away from her kiss and stood up, letting Nico faceplant on the couch.

“ _Maki-chan_ \--”

“What? My nails are still drying,” she said plainly.

“Then what the hell--Jewish hell--else am I _supposed_ to do?” Nico made an inhuman noise starting from the back of her throat.

“I don’t know. Do your homework, maybe, for once?”

“But that’s so _boring_!”

“Boring, but necessary if you want to accomplish an important feat that you may not have heard of, but it’s called graduating.”

“Oh my God, okay, _fine_ , I’ll do my homework.” Nico pulled herself off the couch (very reluctantly, as dramatized by her heels scraping the floor) and towards the kitchen table, where her book bag (and a mountain of unfinished homework) lay.

Maki tapped her back pocket to be sure Nico hadn’t pickpocketed her phone while she wasn’t looking; once she knew it was safely secured, she turned on her heels, letting her hand stay on her back pocket both as a precaution and a taunt. “Have fun,” Maki said, waving her off with a smirk and a wink, and making sure to sway her hips perhaps a little more than usual as she grabbed her purse and keys from the counter and left.

She swore she heard a muffled scream from inside.

 

* * *

 

 

>   
>  n1kino is online!
> 
> n1kino: Eli?
> 
> harash0 is online!
> 
> n1kino: Eli, did Nico-chan talk to you at all today? Or yesterday?  
>  harash0: Huh? No, why?  
>  n1kino: Because I  
>  n1kino: Wait, she didn’t?  
>  n1kino: Thats,  
>  n1kino: Unexpected.  
>  harash0: How come?  
>  n1kino: Well, my parents invited her over for Passover tonight. I thought she might’ve gone to you since. You’re the only other Jewish person she knows, probably.  
>  n1kino: I don’t know, okay, you seemed like the kind of person she would’ve gone to, and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t bailing out or something. I was out for a few hours and when I came back she wasn’t here.  
>  harash0: Oh, I see. I don’t think you have to worry about that.  
>  harash0: The last time she talked to me was purely some routine puns and jokes. So, she hasn’t talked to me about Pesach at all.  
>  n1kino: Puns? What kind of puns?  
>  harash0: Well.  
>  harash0: Maybe I should just copy and paste? The joke’s funnier that way, I think.  
>  harash0: niconii: okay get this eli niconii: if maki-chan’s a gay rich jew niconii: does that mean she likes girls more than money harash0: …...Wow that was bad. niconii: OKAY GET THIS ONE niconii: what does a jewish pirate say???? niconii: AHOY VEY  
>  n1kino: Oh. My God.  
>  harash0: I think she thinks that being associated with a Jew somehow makes her Jewish.  
>  harash0: And, by extension, allows her to make Jewish jokes. Even though that isn’t really how it works but she looks so happy with herself I really don’t have the heart to tell her.  
>  harash0: Some of them are actually kind of funny.  
>  harash0: Omg, I actually laughed out loud at this one, hang on.
> 
> n1kino is offline!
> 
> harash0: Maki?  
>  harash0: :(

 

* * *

 

“You look... nice.”

Nico had shown up a bit more overdressed than Maki thought she would; the dress was pretty, she couldn’t lie, but she knew for certain Nico would seem out of place. Especially coupled with the fact that she wore a casual t-shirt and jeans. Either she didn’t’ actually go to Eli for advice, as she said two hours ago, or she gave her some really bad advice in between then and now. Maybe she thought she was an expert by now.

“Well, you made it _sound_ like it was some kind of formal thing,” Nico hissed under her breath in Maki’s ear as Maki’s mother walked by, carrying the Seder plate.

“It kind of is,” Maki murmured. “-ish. Is that dress new? I’ve never seen you wear it before.”

Nico frowned. “Yeah, and it cost me nearly my entire bank account. What, you think I’m gonna commit social suicide by showing up in the same dress I wore last time? Your dad’d think I never shower.”

“I don’t think they’d really care. Or remember.”

“Well then, you can reimburse me for my investment _later_.” Nico crossed her arms. “Or come with me to return it.”

“Why do I need to come with you? Can’t you just go yourself?”

“Well, it’s _your_ fault I bought this dress with literally all my savings. Since you failed to tell me shit-all about this holiday of yours.” Nico eyed her, and Maki sighed in defeat.

“Fine. We’ll go return it, and if they won’t take it back, I’ll give you some money, okay?” She really did not need to have an argument with Nico right now--especially in front of her parents. Apparently, though, Nico was shameless. _Why_ was she so shameless? Maki wanted to know, but she wasn’t even sure Nico herself knew why she acted the way she did. An enigma wrapped in a layer of irritation wrapped in a layer of fictional anime idol girls.

Nico ran a hand through her hair, now taken out of its usual pigtails, and swept it over her shoulder when they heard Maki’s parents shuffling in the kitchen. She looked like she was preparing her idol side for a video shoot of some sort, practicing different faces in front of her.

“We’re so glad you could make it, Nico-chan,” Maki’s mother said as she came back around, placing the Seder plate on the table, which Nico gaped at in interest and curiosity.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all, Mrs. Nishikino,” Nico said sweetly in a voice that rivaled her idol persona. Maki made a face. She still couldn’t’ get used to how Nico could complain one second and seem totally fine the other; why she couldn’t just not complain twenty-four-seven, Maki didn’t know. “It’s an honor to be invited, really.”

Nico straightened with perfect posture when Maki’s father came from the kitchen as well. He was smiling. “I hid the afikoman, Maki. Maybe you can teach--ahem, Nico, how to find it.”

Maki turned to her right to see Nico staring intently at her, awaiting an answer. “Maybe later.” Nico scowled, kicking her shin for an answer. Maki pretended as though nothing had happened.

“What’s an ah-fee-koh-man? Is there someone else coming?” Nico mouthed to her. Maki pretended, again, as though she hadn’t said anything.

“Oh, before I forget,” Maki’s mother spoke up, “I got this for you, Nico-chan, so you can follow along better.”

Nico reached forward, taking out of her hands a small booklet with the words “My First Passover” embroidering the cover. She flipped it open and flinched at the sheer number of unidentifiable Hebrew letters; she even turned the book upside down, and Maki wanted to shove her face in her hands in embarrassment.

“You can read English, right?” Maki’s father asked. Nico nodded. “There’s a transliteration on the left side that you can follow along to. Maki, do you want to lead the service tonight?”

She shook her head yes, but turned to Nico, who pleaded for her to help with a silent beg. Maybe she could read English, but following along to a set of (what Nico deemed to be “random”) syllables was more than difficult for her. Somehow, she felt this was karma’s punishment for her.

“No, you can start, Papa.”

He nodded. Maki looked between Nico and the rest of her family, noting how absolutely lost Nico looked and how hilarious it was to her. When they started to recite the blessing over the wine, and as her father lighted the Passover candles, she noticed that Nico remained entirely silent, watching. She kicked her under the table, and Nico suppressed a yelp. She started mumbling the words from the  book, glaring over at Maki every so often, who said the prayer with ease, grinning.

It was a relatively short service; Maki’s family was oft relaxed with such holidays, especially Chanukah and Passover, and she was sure Nico was silently grateful that it was over nearly as soon as it began. Of course, Nico wasn’t without fault; when they dipped the parsley in the saltwater, Maki grinned at the sour face Nico made in response. But she didn’t spit it out, surprisingly, and swallowed the entire thing. Maki’s mother was chuckling every so often, and Nico turned red as a beet at the fact that her family was deriving so much enjoyment from watching her fumbling with the words.

At some point, Maki swore she heard Nico mumbling “Nico Nico Nii” underneath her breath, and kicked her again.

With the first prayers over, her father poured the wine for each of them, and Nico immediately went to take a sip. Maki slapped her jaw away from the rim of the glass when she started to down it.

“Maki-chan, why--”

“You’re not supposed to drink it yet.” Maki frowned. “And you’re not supposed to drink it all at once. You’re going to give yourself a headache.”

“Frick off,” Nico whispered in the presence of her parents, like a teenager censoring her language, “I can hold my liquor.”

Maki burst out laughing at the table, much to her father’s confusion.

 

* * *

 

After two glasses of wine, Maki knew Nico was getting tipsy, and snorted.

 

* * *

 

After about fifteen minutes of prayers (and worries over the food going cold, among other various sips of wine and small snacks of matzah and charoset--which Nico loved, because of its sweetness--and Maki tricking Nico into eating horseradish--which she hated, because the spice made her face blow up in red), _finally_ , it was time to eat. Maki had heard Nico’s stomach growl several times at the lack of food and over-proportion of wine in her gut. Her mother set the table with the dishes already--the usual delicacies that, of course, Nico looked at like it was alien food. Their usual tradition involved some Japanese dishes as well, that perhaps seemed more appetizing to Nico.

Well, she _expected_ that to happen, but instead, before her mom could get a single word out, Nico nearly shot out of her seat in excitement. “Oh thank God, I was starving,” she said, picking up the hard boiled egg from the big plate in the middle. Maki suppressed a scream.

Completely unaware of the various horror-filled stares surrounding her, Nico continued to chew, all while holding the other half of the boiled egg in her hand. Eventually, Maki could not take the second-hand embarrassment any longer--she grabbed Nico’s hand before she could bring it back up to her mouth. She froze, mid-chew.

“Y-you're,” Maki stuttered, “not supposed to eat from the Seder plate.”

Nico opened her mouth to speak, but closed it immediately after she realized she still had food in her mouth. Maki watched in dismay as Nico put the egg back on the plate--bite and all.

 _Why_ wouldn’t a black hole open from the floorboards and swallow her whole to save her this embarrassment.

Maki’s mom chuckled in amusement. “Oh, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it dear. We wouldn’t want the food to go to waste, anyways. So long as you don’t try to eat the wishbone.” She offered a sympathetic smile. “That would probably hurt.”

Nico’s head sank in embarrassment and apology. Maki mimicked her; could this night, honestly, get any worst?

Maki’s mother and father had already put food on their plates from the selection, and Maki watched Nico slowly and carefully scoop gefilte fish onto her plate--her nose wrinkled at the smell, and Maki nearly choked on her own food in laughter. She took a single bite, and didn’t touch that fish for the rest of the night, but slid her food every so often to Maki so as not to seem rude.

In retrospect, maybe Maki should’ve planned this dinner a bit better. Maybe she was still salty over Nico’s disappearance before their previous dinner date with her family, and maybe that was the reason why she decided to disappear all day as well, so as to give Nico a taste of her own medicine. Now, however, she was starting to realize that Nico trying to engage with her family without any sort of previous help would only backfire in second-hand (and first-hand) embarrassment; she would need to remind herself later to give Nico a crash-course in Jewish harvest holidays.

Maki’s father cleared his throat and turned to his wife. “The fish is really excellent. You outdid yourself.”

“Yeah, Mama. I could smell it coming from the kitchen from all the way outside,” Maki agreed, scowling when Nico dropped another piece of gefilte fish on her plate.

“Wow, you could smell it from all the way out there?” Nico looked actually surprised. “Oh, right, because of your big Jewish nose--”

No quicker and louder had Nico ever slapped a hand over her mouth before. Maki’s father raised and eyebrow, and Maki did a spit take with her wine and her napkin.

“Nico-chan--”

“I--I mean, uh--”

In that moment, Maki wanted to strangle Nico and pretend she didn’t know her all at the same time; she might not have even needed to do so, because Nico wasn’t breathing. Maki found that she wasn’t breathing either, and let out a shaky breath. “H-haah?” She wasn’t really sure if she was trying to laugh at her joke, trying to laugh it off, or laughing out of embarrassment--maybe a combination of the three.

Then, it went dead quiet. Nico’s hands clutched her dress in a death grip. Maki’s mother looked between the three of them, fork suspended in air.

The first noise to shake the room was the smallest, faintest chuckle.

“Not bad, Nico,” Maki’s father said in a low, hoarse, grumbling voice, something like laughter. “But you’ve still got a long way to go. My wife tells much funnier ones.”

Maki’s mother beamed brightly, and while her mother and Nico continued to bounce jokes back and forth (“Okay, why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?” “Why?” “Because Jewish women won’t touch anything unless it’s 20% off!” “Okay, how does Moses make his tea?” “He-brews-it!”), Maki slunk further into her seat, defeated.

 _Why_ Maki. Why her. Why tonight. Why now.

 

* * *

 

“Will your parents care?” Nico slurred, yawning and stretching. “Ugh, my head’s fuzzy.”

“No, they won’t,” Maki replied, flushing at the memory of her mother’s crude wink. “You’d probably just keel over in the gutters if it wasn’t for me, so be grateful.”

Nico made a noise between a grunt and a “hah.” She went to kick a stone, for some odd reason, and nearly tripped over it--Maki caught her arm just in time.

“Geez, Nico-chan,” Maki pulled on her hand to force her back on the sidewalk, “you had _maybe_ two glasses of wine and you’re already buzzed.”

“I’m not,” Nico protested, yet continued to slump against her shoulder. “You wouldn’t know drunk if it vomited in your lap.”

“I said buzzed, not drunk.”

“Oh.” Nico paused. “Same difference. Fuck, did you lace that wine with some of Eli’s shit or something--Forever 21?”

“Everclear 190.”

“Ugh, fuck offfff, it’s the same difference,” Nico whined, though made grabby hands that would suggest otherwise. At this point, Maki wasn’t sure if Nico was actually tipsy or just faking it for the attention and the walk home. Trying to pull Nico along, Maki sped up. She felt small hands encircle her bicep, causing her to look down at Nico, who made her typical begging face.

“Carry me?” When Maki heaved and sighed, she added, “Please? These heels are hurting my feet.”

Maki took a brief survey of the street they walked by--though it was dark, it was not the dead of night, and there were no cars or pedestrians in sight for miles. She mumbled out a “Fine. Come here” and opened her arms, into which Nico leaped. As soon as she’d done so, Maki flipped her up and slung her over her shoulder.

“W-wha--um, h-hey! I meant bridal style, not like a sack of potatoes!”

By the time they had reached Nico’s apartment, the girl had quieted her complains and lay dormant, nearly half-asleep and drooling on Maki’s shoulder. Maki winced in disgust as she took out her copy of Nico’s key and shut the door behind her, moving to lay Nico on the couch before doubling back to lock the door. Nico hummed in annoyance.

“Stop making so much noise, Maki-chan.” She held a hand dramatically over her eyes. “And turn off the lights.”

Maki frowned, but complied. The light from the bathroom she preemptively turned on guided her to the bedroom, where she unceremoniously dumped Nico a second time.

Only to discover, of course, that Nico could walk just fine, aside from a hobble and a wobble here and there. Still, she said nothing (and made sure to avert her gaze, blushing) when Nico slipped off her dress and changed into her nightgown.

“You’re not gonna get changed?” Nico said, releasing her hair from inside her pajamas and laid her dress out carefully on the dresser. Maki hadn’t realized she’d been staring at empty space, blushing like a drunk.

Maki still did her best to give a coy shrug. “Too tired. I’ve slept in worse before anyways.” Well, truthfully, she was just embarrassed at the prospect of changing in front of Nico--who had no shame and certainly would turn around to peek, even if Maki asked her to do otherwise--even though Nico had seen her naked plenty of times before, and goddammit that isn’t the _point_. Maki grit her teeth and sat on the bed, but flinched when she felt something hard against her butt. She stood up quickly, reached behind to see what it was--

“Oh. Right. You still have my phone,” Nico said slowly. She looked glumly at it--longing for it--when Maki set it on the dresser. She took a seat  on the bed, beside whom Maki sat.

“Hey, don’t look so glum,” Maki joked, nudging her girlfriend with her elbow, who kicked her feet off the bed (since they didn’t touch the floor--Maki had already gotten a good reaction out of her after commenting on it the first time Nico invited her to her apartment). “It wasn’t even that difficult. One _entire_ twenty-four-hour day without a single mention of your game. I think that might be a record.”

She was silent for a moment, staring at her feet; Maki watched her, brows furrowed in worry. Nico then huffed, flung herself back on the bed, and spread her arms out. “I guess. Still don’t think it was worth missing a day of the event over. That’s, like, twelve thousand event points down the drain.”

Maki sighed and rubbed at the back of her neck. Staring down at Nico, she _actually_ looked depressed. She didn’t understand it--couldn’t understand how the hell one little mobile game could cause one person to devote her entire life to it, and how even missing a minute of it could throw Nico into a state where she looked like a puppy kicked on the side of the street. The angelic part of her conscience told her to comfort her, while the more cynical part of it told her that Nico could handle whatever she was dealing with on her own, and of course, the part that Maki didn’t want to win won in the end, as per usual.

She bent over, brushed Nico’s hair (the same hair she, a grown-ass adult woman, kept in childish pigtails that she absolutely refused to take out, except to sleep; Maki made a mental note to do something about it later), and kissed her cheek.

“I appreciate it, Nico-chan,” Maki sighed. “I really do. Even though it _shouldn’t_ be that hard for you,” she added under her breath.

Nico smiled up at her, apparently placated, and kissed her back on her own, making Maki pull away with a blush. Then, she sat up and dashed out of the bedroom--towards the bathroom, Maki knew, to put on her facial mask. The amount to which Maki had memorized her schedule honestly truly terrified her.

She laid back in bed, exhausted herself, and pulled the covers up to her chin. She’d almost fallen asleep when, forty minutes later, Nico noisily came back into the room, presumably her facial mask applied and set, and slipped in next to her. The light irritated Maki’s eyes; she pulled the covers over her head and groaned in annoyance while Nico made a “sh!” noise and lightly tapped where her head presumably was hidden underneath the blanket.

She fell asleep soon after Nico had turned off the light and nestled into her.

 

* * *

 

Maki opened her eyes. The clock on her nightstand read one forty in the morning. She heard the faintest sound beside her, and groggily she raised her head against the will of gravity and her desire for sleep. The covers slipped from her body as she rose, seemingly half-dead. She mumbled, smacked her dry lips, rubbed her eyes, and turned to her right, her brows furrowing more-so from her absolute irritation rather than the light that burned her eyes.

Nico sat, staring wide-eyed, like a deer caught in headlights, highlighted by the bright, fluorescent light of her phone catching on her cheekbones. The soft sound of a failed song came from the phone in her hands, and Nico’s chuckling, though soft, made Maki want to scream.

“Well, uh, it’s _technically_ ‘tomorrow’--”

She immediately grabbed the nearest pillow and whacked Nico so hard she fell to the floor.


End file.
